These days we tire of catching those filthy little creatures with old fashioned fly swatters. Besides giving our arms great exercise, and helping us relieve stress, they don’t solve the recurring problem of flies.

You can even buy those electric fly swatters these days that pulse a spark of electricity into the life of the fly.

Sometimes they work, sometimes they don’t. But it’s time to move beyond a device like a fly swatter that, let’s face it, was probably used in the middle ages.

This is where nanotechnology comes in. My fly killing invention suggestion is to develop a robot that is as small as, and looks just like, a fly. However it differs in that instead of sitting on your food or your dog’s ears, it actually does something useful: kills flies.

The device would basically be like a self-guided missile in that it would be able to track down and target flies in any area. It would be able to fly as fast, probably faster, than any fly, and when it gets to the fly it stings it like a bee.

It may sound vaguely cruel, but a robotic fly catcher would save you enormous hassles in the household. And, who knows, maybe it could be extended to catching mosquitoes too!

Wouldn’t it be nice for all us pianists (or any other instrumentalist for that matter) if sheet music were digitized onto a A4 flat white screen (in a similar vein to the Sony Reader or Amazon Kindle), and we could simply place it where our sheet music currently goes. The advantages would be vast:

1. It could store possibly the entire classical (i.e. royalty free) collection for a particular instrument
2. It would be able to access and download any digitally available manuscript via WiFi (for instance, Amazon’s new Kindle device can do just this)
3. With machine listening technology, it would even be able to know when to change the page without the instrumentalist having to do this manually (that would probably be is biggest selling point)
4. You or your music teacher would be able to make scribblings or marks on the actual scores, and you’d be able to clear these marks if necessary (look at any aspiring pianist’s manuscripts and they’re practically drenched and unreadable with the teacher’s notes)
5. It would be able to play the piece for you in order for you to learn it without having to figure out the note-times and such (i.e. it would allow you to cheat)
6. If you were playing a piano, violent, etc concerto, it would be able to play the orchestral part whilst you play the piano (or other) part

In other words this invention would be a big success amongst musicians around the world.

This one’s mainly for school stationary. Remember when you were a kid at school and your annoying teacher made you neatly cut out A4 handouts and stick them into your exercise book or note book? Not only did you have to waste your precious time cutting things out and wasting paper, but you also had to get your hands dirty with glue.

My invention idea for today is an exercise book that solves both these problems.

Firstly,  the book is slightly bigger than A4. This means that you don’t have to cut off the top, bottom, left, and right sides of the A4 page to get it to fit. It will just fit by itself. And the difference in size won’t make any difference to it fitting into your bag because the size difference will be negligible.

Secondly, you’ll be able to pull off small bits of white plastic imposed into the top and bottom, left and right of each page which will reveal a sticky surface. This will allow you to stick the page down without needing glue. A more advanced solution may be to create static charges on the paper surface, and somehow create the opposite charges on the paper surface, thus producing an attraction.

There are potential short-term issues with such an invention, as schoolkids may soon be using cheaper, more advanced and more marketable versions of the now defunct Apple Newton or the still on the market Palm, thus reducing the need for paper. However things like these don’t often move as fast as we think. I read somewhere that someone predicted in 1997 that by 2007 we’d use half the amount of paper. Well I think the opposite is true (I’ve been trying to find statistics on this but alas). Therefore I think this idea still has some life potential. At least another 5-10 years.

It’s also possible that the glue part of this idea won’t be liked by many stationers (and stationary companies), as it would theoretically mean a reduction in the purchase of glue. As is sometimes the case with inventions, industry sometimes prevents them from coming into being.

But let’s be hopeful.

We all tend to chew our pens without thinking. Sometimes we’re nervous, sometimes it’s due to stress, sometimes it’s just a bad habit.

Well why not have a pen that is designed to be chewed? Surely that’s a logical invention, a next step for all us pen-chewers?

I think it’s a great idea. I would love to taste a delicious strawberry flavour, or even chocolate, next time I chew my pen.

It’s like chewing gum, except it has more of a use. In fact it gives schoolchidren and adults around the world an excuse finally to chew something without getting into trouble.

Think of the relief it would cause smokers…What if we invented an anti-smoker pen that gave smokers something to do instead of smoking?

So next time a pen company purchases the local sweet or chocolate factory, it’s not that they’re diversifying, it’s that they are enterprising!

Imagine all the wonderful colours and flavours this pen would come in. It could create an industry unto itself - refillable peanut butter tasting pens, disposable rum and raisin pens…the list goes on.

Please help me out with this one, so that this post can become the longest list online of ways to use a Nike swoosh. I’ll be adding to this post whenever I get a new idea or you post comments.

The idea is to stretch your imagination and to think about new ways of seeing and using standard objects.

Here it goes…(remember to visualize each listing here by seeing the swoosh used in this way)

A million and one ways to use a Nike swoosh

1.  As a golf club
2. As a hammock
3. As a way to drink water from a can
4. As an eyebrow
5. As a smile
6. As a harp (put strings on it)
7. As a skateboard
8. As a new way to mark exam papers (instead of ticking simple swoosh)
9. As a hockey stick
10. As a horn (wonder what sound would come out of that shape)
11. As a boomerang (would it come back?)
12. As a violin
13. As a soup server
14. As a slide
15. As a swimming pool
16. As jello
17. As a container
18. As a computer keyboard
19. As a hand movement
20. As a rocket

Here’s a wacky idea: an edible keyboard.

Now why would a person want to eat a keyboard? Surely the keyboard is for medium to long-term use?

Well some people don’t get a lunch break. Having an edible keyboard means they can eat while they work. So it increases productivity. (Ok that argument doesn’t really work but bare with me - marketers might like it).

Other (humorous) reasons why you might need an edible keyboard (it doesn’t have to be chocolate by the way):

1. Eat while you work gets a whole new meaning
2. After it’s been eaten, you’ll now have an excuse not to do more work (the dog ate my keyboard)
3. It can help you gain weight (all you’ll ever think about is food)
4. It can help you lose weight (if you set goals only to eat a letter at a time )
5. It’s a talking point in the office (more rather a munching point)
6. It can help you reach a deadline (what if the project has to be completed after lunch, for instance)
7. It can be refilled with food and drink you order online with it (an edible mouse has to be the next step)
8. It saves you the hassle of going to the shops
9. It gives a whole new meaning to the term ‘electrical food’
10. It’s a fun way to waste money

Check out this link for edible chocolate keyboards.

A far more useful invention would be a keyboard that is food and drink proof or, even better, has a space to place your food and drink. That way you can for instance, eat while you work to save you time and really increase productivity.

I had a dream about this the other night: I was given a pair of shoes made by Lamborghini, which were beautifully designed, strikingly black, and had built in motors that drove you around. So in a sense they were like motorized roller skates.

In fact I found a video on YouTube that depicts, in a far less elegant manner and in lego, what I’m talking about:

I see two potential difficulties with such an idea: safety and comfort. It would compete with the Segway, which is probably easier to nagivate. Anyway it’s an interesting idea nonetheless, and it would be really great if sports car manufacturers (or should we call them designers) like Lamborghini and Ferrari started designing non-car motors.

Objects that can have multiple uses always interest me. An interesting concept is the Fishtank Table. Tired of boring table clothes and placemats? Why not turn your table into something live and entertaining.

To create a fishtank table, simply purchase a Fishtank and all the bits and pieces (don’t forget the fish!). Then get a piece of wood or rubber to cover the top. Make sure that your fish are oxygenated and there you have your table.

It would be amazing to see restaurants using such a concept, where every table is alive with brightly colored and luminescent fish. It would be quite funny (and perhaps ironic) to see this in a fish restaurant.

Hmm..the next idea I have is a fishtank restaurant.

Old people don’t always have many comforts in life. They’ve lost loved ones and friends over the years, and can often feel lonely and alone in the world. An invention I’ve had to help bring back psychological comfort in their lives is a holding hand umbrella and holding hand walking stick (and in fact this could be extended to any apparatus that has a handle).

The basic idea is that the handle of the walking stick be moulded into the shape of a hand. Thus, when gripped, it feels like holding a hand. The same goes for an umbrella, or any thing that has a handle. It gives a person the comfort and psychological feeling of holding someone’s hand. The same invention could be adapated for children, to give them the feeling that their mother or father is holding their hand when they’re not around.

I have not yet produced a prototype of this invention idea, but am willing to share the concept with anyone who wishes to develop it. If you’re interested in pursuing it, please contact me.

With a lot of focus going into China recently, a lot of people have asked me about Chinese inventions. What did the Chinese invent, and what modern day inventions should we give the Chinese credit for?
According to Joseph Needham , we can thank the Chinese for their four great contributions to humanity: paper, gunpowder, the compass, and printing.

Paper and Printing

The origins of the inventions of paper and printing began around 2000 BCE, where the Chinese wrote onto bamboo strips and sowed them together. Apparently silk was also used but being expensive it was only used in royal circles. The great drive towards this invention was the need to record, the need to create a history. So when you think of the invention of paper and printing, think of how that necessitated a change towards recording a more accurate history and moving beyond the reliance upon oral recordings and traditions. There is also evidence to suggest that the Chinese invented toilet paper.

Gunpowder

The Chinese apparently invented Gunpowder in the search for elixir of immortality. It was no doubt invented by alchemists or pre-chemists whilst experimenting with various elements and they eventually started experimenting with saltpetre (or Potassium Nitrate), which is critical to oxidizing gunpowder. This led to them using it for fireworks and also for more sinister means such as bombs.

The Compass

The concept of the compass must be linked with that of magnetism. However it is possible that the Chinese ‘discovered’ magnetism by observing how needles could be set up and pointed almost by their own in a particular direction. This taught the Chinese how to magnetise a needle and thus how to find their way (as the needle would always point in a particular direction, no mater which direction they were). Thus the discovery of something intangible was made possible by the discovery of something tangible. The Chinese produced various forms of compasse, using for instance needles floating in water, or later a compass which specific points used in maritime navigation.

Other Chinese Inventions

I have already spoken about the Invention of the toothbrush, which is an invention by the Chinese. Other interesting ideas include the parachute, porcelain, tea, steel, and windmills.

For for information on the subject, check out the List of Chinese inventions.